Companions for life are not the kind of people that you meet every day. As human beings, we all are extremely complex creatures with our needs and desires that seldom coincide with others.
In fact, the current generation and young ones are often rebels who don’t want to confine themselves with similarity. Life is a journey towards self-discovery and what truly makes you unique. Along the way, you meet someone special who is the perfect counterpart to your existence.
Both of you find a way into each other‘s lives, becoming truly inseparable to the point where tying the knot becomes an inevitability. According to a recent study by Statista.com, the marriage rate in the United States stood at 6.1 per 1,000 people.
This is a definite decrease from the 1990 levels when the marriage rate was as high as 9.8 marriages per 1,000 people. Nevertheless, marriage in the United States varies greatly across all 50 states. In 2018, Nevada had the highest marriage and divorce rates.
An Unbearable Loss
In 2014, I first met the love of my life and future hubby Jake at a mutual friend’s house warming party. There was a Super Bowl match happening that time, so obviously, all the guys were glued to the screen with beer bottles in their hand and being their raunchy selves.
The gals had hit the porch and enjoying some fresh air away from all the noise. It was there we ran into each other, and one thing led to another.
Both me and Jake were free-spirited and absolutely had no idea what the future held for us. I was working then as an HR assistant at Group M, a media investment company and making a decent living. Jake was working as a broker at Goldman Sachs and inadvertently was at the top of the food chain.
One of his most striking things was the uncanny ability to dress like a true gentleman. In less than a year of dating, we decided to get married, and by 2015 we had our nuptial ceremony at Cedar Lakes Estate in Port Jervis, NY.
Five years went by like a breeze, while Jake received a substantial promotion; I left my previous job and started working as an HR advisor at Marie Curie. Then came the worst premonition of our lives when Jake contracted the deadly coronavirus.
We were living happily in New Jersey when symptoms first began showing. We immediately rushed him to the critical care unit at Morristown Medical Center. Back in June 2020, and just 60 days after he was admitted, Jake left me and joined the afterlife.
Reconnecting With Life
The loss of a loved one is immense, but the loss of someone special who was your one real soul mate is shattering and brings you down to your knees.
It has been over half a year, but during this time, I have found myself unable to control myself to go into a recluse and shut myself away from the world. However, the flowing remedies did comfort me and help me stay connected with life during these tormenting days of my life.
· Arts and Craft
Art Therapy offers a valuable outlet for expression when it comes to grief. My loss was too much for me to handle, and the grief was constantly present. No matter to whom I talked, my thoughts and feelings remain pervasive.
Emotionally tattered and extremely guilt-ridden, I just couldn’t handle the shame and regret of losing the love of my life at such a young age. However, art allowed transforming my anger and trauma into an expression that required no explanation.
It facilitated the expression of my current mental and physiological state and encouraged me to narrate the events, thus giving me a venue to explore my feelings, further bringing me closure. I thoroughly recommend “A Task-Oriented Approach to Art Therapy in Trauma Treatment”.
· Build a New Hobby
There were actually three hobbies I took up once I had my senses working for me rather than being feeling overwhelmed with sadness all the time.
Writing became a passion quickly because I found it coming to me naturally. Having read a lot of fiction and mystery/thriller novels during my younger years offered me an escape from the now and my current surroundings.
Next I took up gardening, which was again something more of a family affair since both my parents have deep farmer roots and horticulture ran through their veins. So naturally, they tried to pass on that gift to me, but I was too stubborn to take any serious note of it.
Nurturing a flower bed opened me up to my own physical and emotional needs, and I stopped putting the blame on the universe.
Lastly I took up some cooking classes online, and all of my first ten meals that I prepared were Jake’s favorite. Oh, how I wished he was there to critique me! At Dissertation Assistance UK students are also encouraged to foster constructive hobbies to enrich their lives further.
· Nomadic Lifestyle
There comes a time when even a caterpillar comes out of its cocoon. This year, I have planned for some road trips all across the US to meet up with my distant relatives. However, I camped for three days straight at the Acadia National Park in Maine with a couple of friends who wanted me to experience the fresh air and connect with nature.
Detached with all my usual gadgets and the everyday poisons that I had become used to, the natural fresh air and cold water indeed made me feel good. The change of scenery had me detached from the gloom that usually hung at my house ever since Jake passed away.
The cool breeze blowing my hair and splash of icy cold water on my face did me a great deal of good and as if woke me up from my slumber, finally opening my eyes.
As an ending note, I would just like to say that indeed some losses are simply unbearable; however, we must never give up the good fight. Life is too short, and it’s full of twist and turns.
For overcoming emotional losses, nothing that I say can make it easier to bear. However, there are ways through which you can find composure in yourself and accomplish closure.
Sports and physical activities can also serve to be a great outlet. Lastly, suppose you are all out of ideas. In that case, therapies are available to help deal with your grief and sorrow, and organizations like Mental Health America can help you sincerely overcome your personal challenges.
Amanda Jerelyn currently works as a Lifestyle Blogger at Crowd Writer. She is quite fond of indulging herself in pop culture, including anime, movies, music, and video games. She likes to go out for long walks on the beach with her pet terrier during her free time.